the hard way.

2010-10-18T16:03:00.000-07:00

I am currently in the process of creating an actual website.
You know, one similar to a portfolio and what not.
Please find me here until it is finished.
Thank you.

As you grow older.

2010-08-29T09:57:00.001-07:00

I must force myself to understand
not all things last forever.

2010-08-22T21:07:00.000-07:00

I am going to get a custom license plate frame made.
It is going to read:

"I would rather be taking pictures of my cat."

Growing from squares.

2010-08-06T10:44:00.000-07:00

I wish physical homes could move too.

Computered.

2010-07-08T11:41:00.000-07:00

I have been rummaging through a folder titled "snapshots" on my Mac. I have decided to share some of my favorites in random postings. Round one:

2010-07-02T14:36:00.000-07:00

Up till this last week,
it had been five months
since I have legitamitely danced.

The muscles in my calves
are trying to escape.

A growing queue of things I know.

2010-06-05T10:34:00.000-07:00

I am going to try taking this "art" thing a bit more serious.

Bought a url. Boyfriend is going to jazz it up for me.
Now I just need to get organized
and have my work viewable.
Here is my attempt.

Acrylic on canvas.
35x23"

Detail.

"They asked for it."

2010-06-03T13:41:00.000-07:00

I have been roaming around on craigslist for the last hour looking at jobs, cars, and of course, personals. It is interesting to read what people's opinions are on the subject of Brianna Denison's murder verdict.

Some back story:

James Biela was convicted of raping and murdering Brianna, which happened a little over two years ago. He was also found guilty of three felony charges, including the rape of a woman in October of 2007 and the rape and kidnapping of another woman in December of 2007.

Brianna was only nineteen when it happened. She was on break from college visiting friends and family in Reno. She was kidnapped while sleeping on a friend's couch near UNR.

Her body was found 26 days later, in a field, beneath a discarded Christmas tree. She had been strangled with a pair of thong underwear.

James Biela has been sentenced with the death penalty.

-----

While many posts talked about the controversies of the death penalty, there was one that caught my attention:

(Apparently we're all whores and asking for it).

Beyond the wrist.

2010-05-23T10:45:00.000-07:00

I am still trying to figure out
what to do with these hands.

Typically shaped to fit a particular room.

2010-04-24T16:33:00.000-07:00

I have been rolling around on the carpets of Denver, the closest I can get to functioning properly while everyone wears their name badges pompously around their necks with notebooks and pens and plastic cups of water that never empty. You’re over one thousand miles away and all I want to do is put my hand in your mouth while you yawn. And you tell me you would walk here if it were practical, but what is sensible in these circumstances? When my stomach folds in, reminding me of when I slept away from my mother for the first time and didn't understand yearning. I distract myself by trying to find analogies that involve food to justify my aching for you. You think about me every other second, and I sit in a convention room thinking about how your teeth seem to keep getting whiter ever since you went to the dentist. The poet says I should get to know these people now because we will all be dead soon, but your love is criminal, and the repercussion is my uncompromising indifference for strangers. I am going to send you a picture of the view from the 18th floor while everyone makes way downstairs to the lobby bar. The ten dollar vodka sodas spill on their name badges and everything you do belongs in a song.

(From current BA show).

Soon you begin to wonder if these things matter.

2010-04-16T15:20:00.000-07:00

So so close
to being done with school.

I have a BA show
to install this week,
and lots of papers to write.

Be expecting graduation invites
via snail mail.

Animating isn't for everyone.

2010-04-06T13:23:00.000-07:00

For Jenna and Megan.
Good luck on Junior Art Portfolio.

What could I possibly say about this?
I had three hours to come up with something
(circa spring 2009).

And,
clowns are creepy
(which makes it amazing).

A March Epoch.

2010-03-31T14:56:00.000-07:00

Time is lost.

I can honestly say I posted my last update
a week before this
but both you and the blog know that is very untrue.

This misplaced time has been mainly spent in school
which includes
finishing up the first book I have ever edited.

Hopefully it isn't my last.

(Please let me know if you are interested
in purchasing a copy. They are fairly cheap).

The Biggest Little.

2010-03-09T08:54:00.000-08:00

So, I have this boyfriend.
He is really great.
Makes music.

He just released an album titled
Big City. It's wonderful,
and I am not merely saying that
because we cuddle (and stuff).

Listen to it.
If you enjoy it,
consider the purchase.

Back and Forth

2010-02-26T13:15:00.000-08:00

It is my last semester of undergrad.

With no ideal medium,
no concept of what genre I may be remotely good at
(or earnestly interested in for that matter),
I am wondering whether I chose the wrong path.

Maybe I should have been an accountant.
Glued to a swivel chair under fluorescent lights,
fifty hours a week.

Two weeks paid vacation.

And I'd sit in the restroom stall each work day,
avoiding the unavoidable.

Talking to walls.

2010-02-17T10:46:00.000-08:00

Make it happen.

2010-02-03T14:24:00.001-08:00

And we won't.

Saturday Scuffles.

2010-01-25T12:26:00.000-08:00

There seemed to be a brawl on my car,
or against it.

Only street surveillance cameras
may know the truth.

iPhone evidence photos courtesy of
Mr. Golaw.

While you were calculating tears, my head expired.

2010-01-19T14:12:00.000-08:00

For him,
it would always be
a 93% chance
of rainfall.

Be it downtown or way up in the air.

2010-01-15T16:36:00.000-08:00

You desalinate me.

The coming of light.

2010-01-07T14:43:00.000-08:00

I am in the process of
catching up.

Regularity can be
such
an achievement.

flickflick.

Twenty Ten.

2010-01-01T16:38:00.000-08:00

Be always at war with your vices,
at peace with your neighbors,
and let each new year find you
a better man.

Franklin.

I have a good feeling about this year.

Cheers.

Without knowing how, or when, or from where.

2009-12-24T18:55:00.000-08:00

It's been a while.

I guess one can say
life has been keeping me
pretty busy.

I used to apologize for every little thing I said or did, or hadn’t said or hadn’t done, or forgotten to say, etc.; I used to apologize for living. Now I’ve given it up — I mean, apologizing. Not living; I’ve only just started that.

Archibald Alexander Leach.
aka,
Cary Grant.

It's a fact.

2009-12-06T15:47:00.000-08:00

People do things.
People don't do things.

Whatever.

Being good isn't always easy.

2009-12-02T09:56:00.000-08:00

So,
you want to be a carpenter, do you?
Well, it takes more than a hammer, boy.

You're gonna need blueprints
and a will to build,
and...

Bavitz.

A working list of things I will never tell you.

2009-11-25T14:11:00.000-08:00

There are certain words in the human language
that lack sincerity.

Especially
when those words
leave your mouth.

Art work by Victoria Buck.

When the missing got so big.

2009-11-22T20:40:00.000-08:00

I find myself existing in memories.

Because some places are just more
beautiful than others.

Fact and Fiction.

2009-11-17T19:16:00.000-08:00

The world is flat.
Pluto is a planet.
Everything is going to be okay.

On a night like this.

2009-11-10T11:10:00.000-08:00

Feeling a sudden wave of vacancy go over me,
like a hotel being abandoned by it's guests
for an obvious reason.

Brautigan.

Cracking nuts.

2009-11-02T12:42:00.000-08:00

It is that time of year guys.
The super glue and tape
are handy.

This is almost definitely
my last Nutcracker
with the Reno Dance Company.
If you are interested in seeing the show,
please let me know through a comment,
e-mail, instant message, text message,
phone call, letter, note in a bottle,
or maybe some "real life" conversation.

Growing older, but not growing up.

2009-10-29T11:09:00.000-07:00

Signed my "petition for graduation" papers
a couple days ago.
One page asked what my plans are
for after graduation.

Fuck.

(the video: loop like crazy).

You can never overdress.

2009-10-22T12:52:00.000-07:00

I have dreams.
And we edge closer
to them.

Sudden and striking.

2009-10-19T09:35:00.000-07:00

To you,

I am seasonal.

Just like when
the rain drops
and the leaves fall.

So dramatic and refreshing,
but soon enough
you get weary
and want the snow.

Say what you will.

2009-10-14T11:32:00.000-07:00

For such are false apostles.

2009-10-12T15:06:00.000-07:00

I used to nanny for a lawyer in town.
One of the two children was named Raven.
At the age of six, she held her puppy underwater.

She recently made this for her father.
I need not explain any further
why I no longer care for his children.

(Maybe with the exception that
I dreamt she chased her sister and I
with a chainsaw).

Still light.

2009-10-05T11:41:00.000-07:00

How can I tell
when I am succeeding
compared to
when I am failing
if I do not even know
the difference
anymore?

Ruin and beauty.

2009-09-28T11:58:00.000-07:00

Nothing feels real.
But everything is so real

I can barely
stand it.

They say the body accepts any kind of sorrow,
that our ancestors lay down on their stomachs
in school hallways, as children they lay down
like matches waiting for a nuclear fire.

Young.

Don’t confuse what I say with honesty.

2009-09-22T14:45:00.000-07:00

You said to me, "it's a long,
lonely ride sometimes."

I thought, "for who?"

Or maybe
you were just referring to
the ferry ride.

People like us.

2009-09-20T14:29:00.000-07:00

There are more like us. All over the world
There are confused people, who can't remember
The name of their dog when they wake up, and people
Who love God but can't remember where

He was when they went to sleep. It's
All right. The world cleanses itself this way.
A wrong number occurs to you in the middle
Of the night, you dial it, it rings just in time

To save the house. And the second-story man
Gets the wrong address, where the insomniac lives,
And he's lonely , and they talk, and the thief
Goes back to college. Even in graduate school,

You can wander into the wrong classroom,
And hear great poems lovingly spoken
By the wrong professor. And you find your soul
And greatness has a defender, and even in death you're safe.

Bly.

Requiescat
in pace.

Let's minus today.

2009-09-17T16:23:00.000-07:00

It is one of those,
where everything
is just

not good.

My Bible as Literature teacher asked me
what I needed
to make my day
better,

and I said

"a hot dog
wrapped
in bacon."

Negative space.

2009-09-13T20:03:00.000-07:00

You are dreamt of
every night.
And when I hear certain songs
I imagine
you singing them.

Dancing to the wrong theme song.

2009-09-10T11:53:00.000-07:00

Few and far between
I persuade myself into thinking
this is what I want
and then realize
it is entirely the opposite
of what I want.

Then I am indifferent for a while
and may be sad for a moment.

But,
I will always continue to party.

Thoughts are flooding.

2009-09-01T15:54:00.000-07:00

I fear that some
do not know
how to speak
any longer.

When in doubt, draw red.

2009-08-31T14:02:00.000-07:00

This is a portrait of myself
done by my good friend,
Aislynn.

Quite
accurate.

Psycho babble.

2009-08-26T11:37:00.000-07:00

I go to school for art,
but feel far
from an artist.

For instance,
every time I talk about
anything in class,
I sound like a complete asshole.

(I have no idea
what I am doing).

Breaking the rules.

2009-08-18T14:05:00.000-07:00

I am beginning to realize
life is exactly like a game.

Make sure to keep the good players
on your team.

Because
regardless of the score
they won't leave you alone
out in left field.

I only know that I don't know anything.

2009-08-16T12:35:00.000-07:00

Maybe
along with teaching physics
and European history in school,
they should teach a
"how to be an adult" class.

Because this is way too difficult.

Gold in the air of summer.

2009-08-09T17:23:00.001-07:00

I finally came home
and start school
in exactly one week.

I do no want to shed
my summer skin.

Don't think of
the other places
you should have been.

Life is a canvas.

2009-07-30T17:55:00.000-07:00

I have been extremely busy lately.

Just moved out of a house
away from a friend
that I have lived with
for the last three years.

Summer school has been
overwhelming.

So I left town once again
for an extended amount of time.

But, I feel good.

I really just want to be
this warm yellow light
that pours over everyone
that I love.

Oberst.

That’s no moon, it’s a space station.

2009-07-22T14:27:00.001-07:00

This is how we celebrated
after he balanced the force.

You can't stop the change
any more than you can stop
the suns from setting.

Shmi Skywalker

The Devil's workday.

2009-07-17T21:09:00.000-07:00

I swear
I used to be
a patient person.

Now,
I find myself
wanting to crawl out of my skin
for the littlest reasons.

Like,
when people talk to me
about things
I don't care about.

It is sating.

2009-07-14T20:23:00.000-07:00

I don't even know
anymore.

Winners always win.

2009-07-11T14:21:00.000-07:00

More morning afters.

And walks of shame.

A lady always knows when to leave.

(after sleeping on a blow up mattress
in your living room
the next day).

When you run, I run.

2009-07-05T22:22:00.000-07:00

Came back to town
to realize
I still want to be gone.

Now,
I am living and dying in LA.

When something is going away from you,
it's bluer.

Where are you?

2009-07-02T19:56:00.000-07:00

There has been so much,
but so little
going on.

Mostly outdoor activities,
which will continue this entire weekend,
as I bro out on a boat.

I hope everyone has a fun
and safe weekend.

Well,
not too safe.

Night daydreams.

2009-06-25T23:16:00.001-07:00

The first accidental snapshot with my new camera:
the top, right hand side of my bookshelf.
Make your assessment.

I haven't been sleeping well for quite some time.
Maybe it's because I am bored,
and think too much.
Or think too little.

Every so often, I like to pretend
things are the way I want them to be.

The failure of optimism.

2009-06-22T01:11:00.000-07:00

(for many things).

I'd rather be a forest than a street.

2009-06-20T15:42:00.000-07:00

This is how we deal
the morning after.

Enjoy a partial summer day
with a little
Simon and Garfunkel.

To be young again.

2009-06-15T13:43:00.000-07:00

I wish I could start all over
at the age of six.

I could audition for sf ballet,
(make it of course),
and eventually become an amazing
ballet dancer.

And my parents would make
silly videos of me
representing their favorite
electronic music.

I would look back on all of it
as an adult and think
"shit, I was one badass kid."

I guess my parents deserve
a little more credit.

This room.

2009-06-12T21:09:00.000-07:00

No magic happens here.

Just reading
television watching
and occasional sleep.

I know there are some people out there
who think I am supposed to end up 
in a room by myself 

Hoagland.

I'm still waiting for the sunlight.

2009-06-11T00:01:00.000-07:00

To grow me through the floor.

I'm jobless and just read a book
in less than twenty-four hours.

Any suggestions for my next read?

I prefer using
endless pages of
Times New Roman
as a distraction
from my reality.

I’m for best friends, long drives, and smiles.

2009-06-09T20:51:00.000-07:00

Also,
Penelope got crafty.

Dance, dance.

2009-06-07T19:58:00.000-07:00

Hung out with Steve Aoki yesterday.

He didn't pour Grey Goose
into my mouth.

Next time.

Just like yesterday.

2009-06-05T11:00:00.000-07:00

A couple days ago, a boy told me
I am the weirdest girl he has ever met.

Compliment?

I like to think of myself as
old fashioned
or unconventional.
(I guess that doesn't make much sense).

Yes, I can be uncanny.
And I like bizarre.

That's why I liked you.

We stand at the window.

2009-06-03T16:55:00.000-07:00

It's been raining so hard.

And that could be a metaphor
if you want it to be.

I try not to think about
lung cancer, AIDS,
the chemicals in the rain;
things I can't imagine any more than
a color I've never seen.

O'Connor.

Take it easy, but take it.

2009-06-02T00:14:00.000-07:00

More food and adventure,
all in one location: the GSR.

$7.77 Buffet

$3 Movie

Somehow I got stuck there last night
till four am.
Watching touring bands play craps
while Penelope took shots of Jameson
to try and rid herself of heartburn.

So glad to be watching
the Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien.

What a hunk.

You are what you do, not what you say.

2009-05-31T17:02:00.000-07:00

Breakfast of champions:

homemade pizza
and a big glass of milk
on the porch
during a thunderstorm.

I just finished the last of my shows
and this was the only picture
taken backstage.

I was too busy
to do anything else
except want to vomit.

Thanks to everyone that attended.

I thought about the hot spear of your voice.

2009-05-28T23:52:00.000-07:00

I wonder if I will ever do anything right?
This is a serious question.

I took a xanax a couple hours ago
and it is definitely not working.

Somehow I managed to even fuck that up.

Don't worry,
she doesn't really want to kill herself.
This is just the hip thing to do.

Similar to when people take pictures of themselves
doing blow
shooting up
pointing a gun to their head
lying in a gutter
smoking meth/crack
holding a razor blade to a wrist
drinking rubbing alcohol
and
making out with a homeless man.

It's all out of fun.

Right?

For the dead.

2009-05-26T23:35:00.000-07:00

"And then I felt sad because I realized that once people are broken in certain ways, they can't ever be fixed, and this is something nobody ever tells you when you are young and it never fails to surprise you as you grow older as you see the people in your life break one by one. You wonder when your turn is going to be, or if it's already happened."

Coupland.

In the gutters our stars decay.

2009-05-25T21:59:00.000-07:00

Memorial day weekend is:

a. Fischerspooner and trannys.

b. Being stranded in downtown San Francisco and late night bus rides.

c. The beach and bros drinking Coors light.

d. Jonathan Davis's (of Korn) dj set and too many shots.

e. All of the above.

Life is a highway.

2009-05-23T22:18:00.000-07:00

Look Mom.

And I know what year this was made,
because I go to college.
The painting I mean.

I've been falling behind
on this blog thing.
It's okay though,
because I don't care.

But I will start caring right now.

Turn the page.

2009-05-16T12:54:00.000-07:00

My roommate drinks beer
in the shower.

If you see her at a bar,
tell her to "suck it."
And then buy her a shot.

It's graduation day.
Unfortunately, not for me,
but congratulations to all of you
out there.

There is still no cure for the common birthday.

2009-05-13T15:33:00.000-07:00

Birthdays are the worst.
All hype
and lots of
disappointment.

Especially when your face
gets mauled
by a log.

I guess I can say the same thing about
christmas
easter
thanksgiving
halloween
st. patrick's day
new year's eve
valentine's day
earth day
groundhog day
april fool's day
cinco de mayo
labor day
memorial day
ash wednesday
martin luther king jr. day
super bowl sunday
friday nights
saturday nights
thursday nights
sunday fun day
president's day
good friday
and
columbus day.

Laughing without smiling.

2009-05-09T23:36:00.000-07:00

Right now, I am studying for one of my last finals.
Earlier, I took my mother to see Star Trek
for Mother's Day.

Good.

Now, let's talk about
mustaches and romance.

Or, how I recently joined Lookbook,
an "international social experiment in style."
It's absurd and addicting.

Here is my latest look:

Hate that I sometimes feed into this bullshit.

The thing is...

2009-05-07T12:06:00.001-07:00

I came home to this
stuck in my front door
a couple months ago.

It has been kept on the fridge since.

Oh,
I also got fired today.

Can't wait for the bills to start piling up.
Maybe I can make a super cute
collage out of them,
or something.

I'll frame it,
and then tell you
it means something.

Nothing is ever as you want it to be.

2009-05-03T22:54:00.001-07:00

Today has been one of those days.
I think some may refer to it as a
"bad day."

I found this tacky self-portrait from last summer.
Since then, the roommates and I
painted the wall brown
and the couch caught on fire.

I’m standing on a line
between giving up
and seeing how much more
I can take.

Time is passing quickly but the months last forever and I lose track of the dates.

2009-05-02T21:40:00.000-07:00

Killing time.

With
liquor in plastic bottles
concerts with old flames
friendships with old enemies
caring less about most
focusing on school.

But I still
think, think,
and worry.

Really,
though.

(I have learned the hard way
that I am not cut out
for most things).

If you must smoke, take your butt outside.

2009-04-28T22:01:00.000-07:00

Walking to my nine am class yesterday morning,
I saw this outside the library doors.
It interested me in a non-interesting way:
an overfilled ashtray
at a environmental friendly college
in Lake Tahoe.

I personally hate cigarettes,
but am constantly surround by them.
Is this ironic?

(I don't even know what that means).

On a completely different matter,
simple animation can have
the best outcome.

Give me something to break.

2009-04-26T13:53:00.000-07:00

Art show.
Shmart show.

The sound booth.

Baby one star.

White out/black out.

I don't know why I like
washed out faces

and
limp bizkit.

Bittersweet.

2009-04-23T15:57:00.000-07:00

It's only you
who can tell me apart.
And it's only you
who can turn my wooden heart.

Oh,
Cunningham.

Two more weeks
of spring semester.

So much to do.
(papers, art, papers).

Procrastination.

2009-04-21T16:57:00.000-07:00

The last sight of snow;
elevation: 8,911 ft.

Melting
with reflection.

I want anything made by
Dan McCarthy.

And I should be writing a five page
literary analysis paper.

Oil on canvas.

2009-04-17T10:16:00.000-07:00

Foward by Ahren Hertel.

For a laugh:

I have known this "photographer" for three years.
And so has my best friend Jordan.
I guess we are just that
unmemorable.

You can always find a distraction.

2009-04-15T21:38:00.000-07:00

I just recently discovered that people make their own
A Softer World-inspired work.
This got me thinking.

Check out what others have done right here.

Spinning the wheel of misfortune.

2009-04-13T09:58:00.000-07:00

Happy late Easter.

Mine consisted of Chubby Bunny,
(children crying because of it),

and tug o' wars.

Check out the adult Chubby Bunny
on my photostream.

Also,
I'm feeling really great today.

facetious.

In history, we will all be dead.

2009-04-10T16:27:00.000-07:00

These are my friends
slowly killing themselves with
2for1 margs.

Someone just informed me that people who don't drink and/or smoke
are better than people who drink and/or smoke.

Is this true?
(a little confused).

Thanks Carles for your words of wisdom
and thanks Humphrey for looking good.

"The whole world is about three drinks behind."
-Bogart.

Can't get away.

2009-04-07T14:55:00.000-07:00

This is me making an ends meet.
But this time next year,
I will be finishing up school
and closer to beginning a new chapter in life.

The photograph is by my friend Lauren.
Check out her 365 in 2009 project.

I am a product of my time.

2009-04-05T13:43:00.000-07:00

I finally uploaded some photos to my flickr.
Including, but not limited to;

my quinceanera

and Club Underwood.

It is another Sunday of procrastination
watching Star Wars
and refusing to look in my daily planner.

Memory loves Time.

2009-04-01T09:18:00.000-07:00

But does Time love Memory back?

I realized this morning that I haven't taken a single photo with my new computer. Therefore, I took this in class while being overwhelmed by my existentialistic attitude.

My nostalgia has become borderline depressing and I feel utterly disillusioned. But isn't this the vicious cycle?

I blame my state on Kitchen by Banana Yoshimoto:

Someday, without fail, everyone will disappear, scattered into the blackness of time. I've always lived with that knowledge rooted in my being.

Some see the glass as half empty.

2009-03-31T23:04:00.000-07:00

Some see the glass as half full.
I see the glass as too big.

It is the last hour of March,
and I feel like I do not exist.

I implored the gods: Please let me live.

2009-03-29T20:17:00.000-07:00

Typical friday night:
booze, dancing, and technology.

I want to start making spoof trailers for practice.
The inspiration:

Is it strange that this makes me happy?

Peter Gabriel's heart going
boom boom boom.

Let the wild rumpus start.

2009-03-25T14:06:00.000-07:00

Flashbacks of my childhood.

Last night, I woke up to a man screaming on our street.
It was around 2.30 am
and I imagined him shirtless and strung out.

"You took my dog,
now I am going to take your life!
And your wife's life!
I am going to kill your kids!
Where is my dog?!
Boomer (whistle)!"

This was repeated viciously
while my roommate and I both patiently listened,
separated in our bedrooms,
as his voice faded down the road.

I am a red balloon, a balloon tied to an anchor.

2009-03-23T10:45:00.000-07:00

back to school
after a break that seemed to pass me by.

advice for the day:

most things that are bright green
should not be consumed.

always tip at least a dollar on a drink,
regardless of the type.
with that said, don't forget the baristas.

and lastly,

fool me once, shame on you.
fool me twice,
(three times, four times, getting up there)
shame on me.

Something that is searching for me, and needs me to reveal itself.

2009-03-18T21:00:00.000-07:00

my first and last trance experience.

1. red light
2. blue light
3. black light

Something which is unknown to me, but which works upon me.

2009-03-14T18:50:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, some fellow students and I went on a little trip with our digital art teacher. We first stopped at the Pixar Studio located in Emeryville. My teacher has a friend working there and she gave us a great tour, which included the "off limits" parts of the building.
I had to sign a confidentiality form.

They have paid internships there
that I may be extremely interested in....

Our next stop was the Berkeley Art Museum. Half of the museum was closed due to a new exhibit opening soon. My favorite work they had hanging from the wall:

Our last stop was Eric Drooker's studio, who is also a good friend of my teacher. He was very modest for a man who has a bunch of his art on the covers of the New Yorker.

Oh yeah, we got to do a little street shopping too.

My dreams of glory died before they began.

2009-03-12T12:44:00.000-07:00

I really did love this car.
I took great care of it,
and then, within moments,
my investment was taken away from me.

I am starting to feel like nothing ever pays off.

I used to think I knew who the "we" was.
I guess I was wrong.

Just living isn't enough.

2009-03-10T23:16:00.000-07:00

I finally got my new computer.

(They're like parents, waiting to pick up their kids).

I also have a new favorite photographer.

Alison Brady.

I thought of you as my mountain top.

2009-03-02T19:17:00.000-08:00

My good friend Ronald directed me to this.

Scintillation

This is an experimental film made up of over 35,000 photographs. It combines an innovative mix of stop motion and live projection mapping techniques.

As I watched this
I almost started crying
overwhelmed by awe.
My stomach also hurt
knowing
that I am so far away from it.

It doesn’t have to make sense to be real; it doesn’t have to be real to make sense.

2009-02-26T11:35:00.000-08:00

I am having a pretty hard time getting myself a new computer and car.
It is proving harder than I expected.
Maybe I am scared of commitment?

Recent down times.

This is serious.

I have been driving my friends '92 Accord.
And Monday night, I almost slid of the side of the mountain
driving home from school.
Good thing Glynnis and I wrote out our wills a couple weeks ago.
They're in my moleskin, signed.
(Let's be practical here).

I put my soul in what I do.

2009-02-22T16:43:00.000-08:00

Inspiring video art
as music videos.

Quite appropriate for Karin Dreijer.

Regrets are for horseshoes and handbags.

2009-02-18T20:36:00.000-08:00

I need to get over this lethargy thing.
Get on all my school work
(even if I think the class is silly).
Start making new adventures
have new ideas.

And maybe get myself into
a little trouble.